When you are interested in true crime, you may want to get familiar with all sides of the stories – PoVs of victims, detectives, prosecutors/attorneys, psychiatrists; but the info from the perpetrators, their family members and even “groupies” may also be insightful. While I am not very interested in murders done by Jeffrey Dahmer though he was the first serial killer who caught my sight many years ago – I am very curious about the minds of the serial killers, and how it REALLY feels to live with a serial killer. In the last respect, the book “A Father’s Story” by Lionel Dahmer proved invaluable. I did not expect a lot of details about Jeffrey’s killings in it (and they were not there), but it sounded like his father’s confession, his analisys of the past and the attempts to explain what was wrong with his son “Jeff” and find the dark aspects of Jeffrey’s nature (or rather describe how they were overlooked).
In short, Lionel Dahmer is not psychologist and it seems the book was written when his murderous son was still alive. Lionel being a good son and husband, a devout chemist, was an introvert when a child, and had difficulties to adapt to the new people, surroundings, etc. He got over it when he achieved success in the chemistry field and got a girlfriend. His childhood obsessions with fire, power over another person, and bombs did not go beyond school pranks and did not become morbid compulsions. His son Jeff was born in an unhappy marriage (Lionel preferred not to acknowledge he did not go well with his wife) and while his father was a reserved, unemotional, but responsible and hard-working introvert, Jeff’s mother Joyce was a mentally unstable lady with fragile inner world and strong emotions. Perhaps, motherhood did not fit her at all. Nevertheless, Jeff was born after his Mom was on serious medication – taking a lot of pills each day – which could harm the child’s nervous system.
Early childhood harmed by his Mom’s problems and painful surgery was followed by the youth where Jeff was detached from the people around, not capable of concentrating on any good aim or way of life, not interested in sports, books or business. Lionel always offered both money and advice to his son. Reading the book now, it’s obvious that Jeffrey was not normal and had mental problems. However, even nowadays – are we able to force a person get rid of some part of him or her? What if the person does not confess when he or she thinks about when being alone? After Jeff was charged with the child molestation, Lionel knew nothing good would ever come of Jeff. He got used to helping Jeff out, but he did not expect his son to be a famour murderer known later as “Milwakee Cannibal”. The burden was so hard on Lionel that he naturally thought how to protect HIMSELF. Even when Jeffrey was in jail, Lionel continued to give him “positive advice” on how to live in prison though Jeffrey’s life was clearly ruined – he did not resist to his morbid desires and they did not cease even in jail. This is a very desperate, unhappy story of a father who was devastated to know about his son’s crimes, unable to change the past and give Jeff treatment and attention he might have required, and sorry for the victims whose lives his son took. You will not find the profound analisys by the profiler or psychiatrist in this book, only a true story how to expect the worst and to live with this further.